We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Orchid By: Maya Vagner (Digital Download)

by Maya Vagner

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
You are a folded page from a book I never read. My you lost your touch, used to get me so persuade. Just lingering around out of sight, that I forget you out of spite. There is a spot in my heart that is always reserved to you and I want it vacant you I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. I'm sure you are a book with many chapters to read but I don't need to figure it out. So I'm going to let you fade out , fade out , fade out. The shades of you change mid-day sometime mid-week. How'd you expect an outcome? when you don't see what's there in front of you. Soul searching will only get you so far might as well look for a car. There is a spot in my heart that is always reserved to you and I want it vacant you I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. I'm sure you are a book with many chapters to read but I don't need to figure it out. So I'm going to let you fade out , fade out , fade out. Please stop referring to me I'm not your back and call. I don't need no receipt, don't need them at all. You cared for me but loved another, and you might want to change your smile cause it is crooked just like you. There is a spot in my heart that is always reserved to you and I want it vacant you I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. I'm sure you are a book with many chapters to read but I don't need to figure it out. So I'm going to let you fade out , fade out , fade out. Fade out , fade out , fade out.
2.
I Keep 03:39
I keep waiting for a moment to spark, but it’s not coming through. I keep bracing myself for the fall, but trust was developed way too soon. I keep waiting for a silence to break, but your just talking through. And I keep trying to convince myself, I’m okay. But it just isn’t true. After everything I’ve been through. Have I let my guard down, for just linen sheets. Or a black door street. For a dog as dark as the night and a guy who doesn’t know his twinkle in his eye. I keep waiting for a momentary bliss, but it just comes and miss. I keep waiting my mind for the what if, but it tends to be hushed since. I keep waiting for the what’s next point, but I can’t read your mind. And I keep trying to convince myself, I’m okay. But it just isn’t true. After everything I’ve been through. Have I let my guard down, for just linen sheets. Or a black door street. For a dog as dark as the night and a guy who doesn’t know his twinkle in his eye. In the passenger seat I watched you, rain coming down the window shield. You walked into the car and apologized about your insincerity. But seriously you don’t need to because. After everything I’ve been through. Have I let my guard down, for just linen sheets. Or a black door street. For a dog as dark as the night and a guy who doesn’t know his twinkle in his eye.
3.
Used me more then I use my own lip balm. You talk so much it hurts my ear drums. Most of the things you say, cause a course of action. Some are more of a distraction. I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything). All our friendship was just toxic (Toxic,toxic,toxic). I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything) And if you want something from you’ll get nothing. It’s not always about receive and not give. Karma is a real bitch, you better stay clean. Talking in question marks won’t earn you respect. Don’t believe me try the internet. I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything). All our friendship was just toxic (Toxic,toxic,toxic). I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything) And if you want something from you’ll get nothing. I don’t want to hear you on the phone, keep your drama to your mama. I don’t want to see your face once more, keep your boys off of my floor. I’m done with the manipulations the lying in between the lines. Your waisted dreams, coated seams and your endless favors that are never returned. I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything). All our friendship was just toxic (Toxic,toxic,toxic). I realized I don’t owe you anything (anything,anything,anything) And if you want something from you’ll get nothing.
4.
I let the flowers die, the day you went away (ah). Thought I might fall apart in this wreck display (ah). You run to your ex, gosh what else is new (ah). Tucked in bed early, ignoring the texts you’ve sent. Now, I cut my hair it’s all gone. Thought you were the one I moved on. And now I’m with my friends and I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. Now lie in it, now lie in it. I drove miles and miles until I got away (ah). Till your face in the rear view mirror disappeared (ah). I can’t say your name at the same bar (ah). Knowing what I know, now I’m glad were done. Now, I cut my hair it’s all gone. Thought you were the one I moved on. And now I’m with my friends and I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. Now lie in it, now lie in it. Woke up with intense pounding in my head. Gosh it’s hard to imagine, someone sleeping in our bed. And though I don’t regret anything I’ve done or said to you. What if, won’t change a thing about what you done and knew. Oh! So don’t crawl back, crying here instead. Because I’ll turn my back on you. Again You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. (You, you). You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. You’ve made the bed now lie in it. Now lie in it, now lie in it.
5.
Orchid 02:55
I’m not fully bloomed yet, but like an orchid I open up. Met someone in my life, that I can fully trust. He picked my petals and fight my battles that I can’t win. Love is painful they say, but you taught me it’s not. My love for you is growing everyday. The roads are clear now, and I don’t know where to go. Save it for the right moment and you will know. He keeps me steady, aren’t you ready to start. Love is painful they say, but you taught me it’s not. My love for you is growing everyday. My love for you is growing everyday. My love for you is growing everyday.
6.
No offense, I got enough friends. That will last me till the end. Associating love with pain, is not what I signed up for. I was raised and knew better then that. Crying in the car about love you haven't experienced (experienced). Toying me around thinking we would be serious (serious). Shame not to explore this, aren’t you curious (curious). Friending me instead well you are delirious (delirious). I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better. I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better. In the end, I knew you weren’t in. Turn out we don’t see eye to eye. Today, tomorrow and always. First shot and you blew it all away. Loops of silent chimes in my head. Echoing with your name instead. Crying in the car about love you haven't experienced (experienced). Toying me around thinking we would be serious (serious). Shame not to explore this, aren’t you curious (curious). Friending me instead well you are delirious (delirious). I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better. I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better. You had it good you know, don’t you ever not say so. You had it good you know, what we had was magical. You had it good you know. Oh! I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better. I thought you knew, I thought you knew. I thought you know better,better,better. I thought you knew better,better,better.
7.
I’m letting go, of all the tears. I bottled up, all these years. I’m in the shower, letting it pour down the drain. In a thunderstorm. Ain’t it painful, to not be loved back. Ain’t it painful, to see happiness through the looking glass. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. You don’t have the upper hand. Give me a break from running as fast as you can. Send me a smiles from miles away. Don’t it just seem, fake each day. Ain’t it painful, to not be loved back. Ain’t it painful, seeing you with somebody else. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. Ain’t it painful, oh oh oh. And I keep missing the puzzle piece to make me satisfied. And I keep thinking that there will be one to fill this void. I’m looking through those cracks of rejection, they were in the past.
8.
Ah oh ah oh ah oh ah oh Deer in the headlights, in an empty streets. It’s quarter after midnight, stomping to the beat. Walking on water, swimming in the fire. Writing on the tree, love isn’t forever. I need something to refill my soul. Does it make sense, I don’t know. Love season is over, I’ll see you next fall. I’ll see you next fall. Marble table toxication, is the landmark of this generation. Jealousy written on the walls, is the calling of this desperation. Don’t let your loneliness, lower your standard. You will get through this, you will get through this. Ah oh ah oh ah oh ah oh Flight on delay now, no hope at all. Your buzzed, and calling to your home. Leaping for attention, dreaming of affection. Only to realize, it won’t last forever. I need something to refill my soul. Does it make sense, I don’t know. Love season is over, I’ll see you next fall. I’ll see you next fall. Marble table toxication, is the landmark of this generation. Jealousy written on the walls, is the calling of this desperation. Don’t let your loneliness, lower your standard. You will get through this, you will get through this. Ah oh ah oh ah oh ah oh Whatever hard pill you swallowed, it will always effect you. Just know you are not alone, you can be the impact. Pick yourself up, off the ground. I need something to refill my soul. Does it make sense, I don’t know. Love season is over, I’ll see you next fall. I’ll see you next fall. Marble table toxication, is the landmark of this generation. Jealousy written on the walls, is the calling of this desperation. Don’t let your loneliness, lower your standard. You will get through this, you will get through this.
9.
With You 05:26
I do things that scare me, cause i want to break out of my comfort zone. I am sometime lazy, doesn’t mean I don’t have time to call you on the phone. Long ago I realized that I value what’s on the inside a person more than what’s on the outside. Only you on my mind, gets me hooked up every-time. And I want to replay our favorite songs. In your car, you took me home. No one else cause we're all alone. You hold your own like I hold mine. Nice time in the atmosphere, don’t know where you have been my dear, all my life. And it got me thinking, oh don’t you ever disappear. Hold me tight and I won’t fear. Oh do your best I’ll be right here. Don’t you know I’m always near. It goes oh, saying one more song and go. But you don’t really know that I stay. With you, With you, With you. He does things that comforting. Never fills up a square foot room. Only enjoy company of two. He is talking all the time, finally I get to do the listening. Only today he realized, what’s been going on in my mind. Put his guards up to protect his own heart. Only me on his mind, gets him hooked up everytime. And he wants to replay, all our Favorite songs In your car you take me home, no one else cause we’re all alone. You hold your own, like I hold mine. Nice time in the atmosphere, don’t know where you been my dear all my life. And it got me thinking, oh don’t you ever disappear. Hold me tight and I won’t fear. Oh do your best I’ll be right here. Don’t you know I’m always near. It goes oh, saying one more song and go. But you don’t really know that I stay. With you, With you, With you. I’m sure you will do great things. I will be always supporting. Cheering you from the sidelines till we go home. And it got me thinking, oh don’t you ever disappear. Hold me tight and I won’t fear. Oh do your best I’ll be right here. Don’t you know I’m always near. It goes oh, saying one more song and go. But you don’t really know that I stay. With you, With you, With you.
10.
I love it and hate it, how you make me feel. It’s hard enough to, take a prescription pill. Underline the truth,I’ve been so stressed out. Taking it out on you,I regret no doubt. I love it and hate it, how you make me feel. Frustration again, what’s the deal. Self destructive thoughts,devastation all around. And I am on the phone, hearing you crying out loud. It’s not you it’s my anxiety,got me scared of reality. Over thinking possibilities, pin pointing my insecurities. Wondering my capability, or am I just liability. And restricting my authority, of this situation no tranquility. It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, No. I over think about you, when your not around. Gets me in deep water,It’s boiled I’m out. You talk about things,that we used to do. And now I am here,don’t know what to do. I over think about you, every time we say goodbye. I can’t help but feel,worn out inside. Catch me by surprise,kiss me out of the blues. And I can’t help thinking,where am I at with you. It’s not you it’s my anxiety, got me scared of reality. Over thinking possibilities, pin pointing my insecurities. Wondering my capability, or am I just liability. And restricting my authority,of this situation no tranquility. It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, No. Till it goes away, I have to stay. It will be okay, just another day. No time to display, don’t say no way. Just don’t replay, don’t repay. Ah!!! It’s not you it’s my anxiety, got me scared of reality. Over thinking possibilities, pin pointing my insecurities. Wondering my capability, or am I just liability. And restricting my authority, of this situation no tranquility. It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, It’s not you it’s my anxiety, No.
11.
Who I Am 01:16
Lost and found got nothing on you, accommodation does not define you. You may move on till you can’t, And I will be here till the end. But it doesn’t mean I will loose who I am, But it doesn’t mean I will loose who I am.
12.
20's 02:25
I'm not a typical stroll in the park, lights out after dark. A diamond in the rough, quiet before the storm. I'm not the shiver down your spine, can't read between the lines. Wrong side of the bed, gut wrenching pain in my head. I'm me and if you have a problem, I don't want to hear it (I don't want to hear it). I'm me and if you have a problem,I don't want to see it (I don't want to see it). I'm unapologetic, so poetic you can't neglect a thing. Even if I'm conflicted I'm just in my 20's. I'm not a tourist in your life, a cat chasing a mice. Some sugar and spice, or just trying to play nice. I'm not just a question unanswered, coffee stains in mid November. Shot I don't even remember, staring at blank pages. I'm me and if you have a problem, I don't want to hear it (I don't want to hear it). I'm me and if you have a problem, I don't want to see it (I don't want to see it). I'm unapologetic, so poetic you can't neglect a thing. Even if I'm conflicted I'm just in my 20's. Don't tell me what to do, I’m open but I'm not immune to problems that's surrounding me. I'm just trying to figure out, what's life really is about know that your best is enough. I'm me and if you have a problem,I don't want to hear it (I don't want to hear it). I'm me and if you have a problem,I don't want to see it (I don't want to see it). I'm unapologetic, so poetic you can't neglect a thing Even if I'm conflicted I'm just in my 20's.
13.
Your tolerations isn’t your suffering,get out of bed you got to do things. No see you later is acceptable, because you know it’s unattainable. I know he said, I know she said. Everything will be Fine, but they don’t see. What’s going on in my mind. I’m living day by day, and it’s fine. I’m wondering whats next for me all the time. These things will work itself out, and I don’t mind. Because they don’t see, what’s going on in my mind. (Yeah). Your not everyone’s cup of tea, it doesn’t mean that you have to be. No need no givers if there’s no takers, between you and me they are the fakers. I know he said, I know she said, Everything will be, fine. But they don’t see, what’s going on in my mind. I’m living day by day, and it’s fine. I’m wondering, whats next for me, all the time. These things will work itself out, and I don’t mind. Because they don’t see, what’s going in my mind (Yeah). In front of the mirror you know, who you are who you are who you are. In locations people stare at you, they stare at you they stare at you. But you have the time to shine I know he said, I know she said, Everything will be, fine. But they don’t see, what’s going on in my mind. I’m living day by day, and it’s fine. I’m wondering, whats next for me, all the time. These things will work itself out, and I don’t mind. Because they don’t see, what’s going in my mind (Yeah).
14.
Exquisitely 03:36
Don’t cry over someone, who won’t cry over you. It’s good to, value yourself enough to know. When you aren’t being valued. You’ll go through highs and lows. Take a beat and let go. But in the end, you will know. Who you are too and grow. Exquisitely. Boys are like buses. If you miss one, you can catch another. It’s not up to you to figure out him, only yourself. You’ll go through highs and lows. Take a beat and let go. But in the end you will know. Who you are too and grow. Exquisitely. How could you tell me nothing’s wrong? Get out of this small town, you learned to know better now. It’s progress to figure out, what life really is about. But in the end (in the end). You’ll go through highs and lows. Take a beat and let go. But in the end, you will know. Who you are too and grow. Exquisitely.
15.
He wants to stay, and I’m not okay. My heart beats, faster and faster. Every single day, 3 years has past for this to last. 5 hours of travel,he did for me at last. I said 5 hours, was worth the wait. Just in order, to see your face. He smiled, and I knew I would be okay. But I’ll trade all my past, for one more day with you. I’ll give you all of me, because I never do. I’ll travel far and I’ll travel near. Just in order, to see you my dear. And now I’m here, I’m here. And you wants to stay, he want to stay. His born on the 17, you wouldn’t know it but his eyes turn blue from green. 3 years has past, for this to last. 5 hours of travel, I did for him at last. Ravenna blvd, hand in hand. He said your heart, will always be there. And I knew that, I would never let him go. But I’ll trade all my past, for one more day with you. I’ll give you all of me, because I never do. I’ll travel far and I’ll travel near. Just in order to see you my dear, and now I’m here. I’m here and you want to stay he wants to stay. You cross my mind, 4 times a day. And I wonder why it has to be this way. Timeline for us capture, that all good things last and I hope you won’t leave me in the cold. But I’ll trade all my past for one more day with you. I’ll give you all of me, because I never do. I’ll travel far and I’ll travel near, just in order to see you my dear. And now I’m here, I’m here and you want to stay he wants to stay oh won’t you stay.
16.

credits

released May 14, 2021

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Maya Vagner Eugene, Oregon

Singer Songwriter from Eugene, Oregon.

contact / help

Contact Maya Vagner

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account